DISCLAIMER: I didn’t write this. I gave up some real estate here to a guest blogger who recently participated in the Women’s March in New York. (Although another disclaimer would be that I’ve been friends with this broad for 40 years and she was looking for a way to get this out there, so I said why don’t I just publish it on my blog because it’s not like I’m doing anything on it anyway.  That’s what friends are for. Enjoy.)

 

I’m writing this because I have stayed silent for too long (though I have been more active this past week, I admit). I have watched the never ending bashing of those who do not see eye-to-eye with “you”. I have watched the left-wing throw insults and I have watched the right-wing throw insults. I have stood by and watched hate being spewed forth by friends and family who I never knew had so much hate in them. I have been made to feel that I am not a Patriot because I do not support your views. You have been made to feel like something bad because you do not support my views.

I am asking for that type of talk, writing, posting stop. It is detrimental to all sides and all parties.

I read an interesting (viral) post today by a dear friend explaining why she did not support the women’s march. And I know there are other women and men out there who feel the same way. And I kind of get it.  I would like to share it and explain my side (and please note when I say “you”, it’s the general sense. I am not singling out this friend, or you, the reader, specifically).

“I am not a “disgrace to women” because I don’t support the women’s march.”

I agree, and if someone said that to you, they undermine the true belief and god given right that everyone has a right to do and think anyway they want.  So, conversely, do not call me a “whiny bitch” because I DO support the Women’s March.   Again, these insults need to stop.

“I do not feel I am a “second class citizen” because I am a woman. I do not feel my voice is “not heard” because I am a woman. I do not feel I am not provided opportunities in this life or in America because I am a woman.”

I am glad that you have been lucky enough in your life to have not been made to feel like a second class citizen. Most times in my life, I have not felt that way either. I was raised by great parents who had two daughters. They praised me because I was a person and not a gender. I was never told I couldn’t do something because of my gender, but rather if I couldn’t do something it was because of my lack of knowledge, education or skill in that particular experience. I was encouraged to then pursue those things I needed in order to become something.

I have many strong women in my life who have seized opportunities and made something of themselves – they are lawyers, accountants, business owners, doctors and mothers and more.

However, not everyone is as lucky as you and I who have never experienced those second class citizen ideals. There are many, many women in this country and around the globe who have been made to feel that way. Who have been pushed down by their peers, their community, their own family. They have been told they can’t do something because they are a girl or a woman. They have been denied access to education – yes, this can and does still happen in our own country! – they have been accused of instigating rapes and told it was their fault, they have been denied justice in these cases, they have been beaten either mentally, physically or both because they were not the son the parents wanted, or simply because they were seen as a second class citizen.

That’s why I marched. For women in America and around the globe who have not been lucky enough to feel the empowerment you and I have, or to believe that they are and can be more.

“I do not feel that I “don’t have control of my body or choices” because I am a woman. I do not feel like I am ” not respected or undermined” because I am a woman.”

I am glad you have never been talked down to by a man. I have and it sucks. I chose to be polite in those situations and turn the other cheek. I chose to be silent. That is my hang-up. But that’s why I marched today. To not be silent anymore and not turn the other cheek.

I am glad you have never been made to feel uncomfortable or fearful in a room full of men. I have and it sucks. That’s why I marched. To gain power and strength in myself while being selflessly supported by complete and total strangers.

“I AM a woman. I can make my own choices. 
I can speak and be heard.”

I agree, and that’s why I marched. To speak and to be heard, because those that were with me were willing to listen even though we all had different issues that were important to us.

“I can VOTE.”

And I did vote. I want to make sure that I always can vote and that women around the world should have this right. That’s why I marched.

“I can work if I want.”

And so can I and so I do. That’s why I marched. To remind those who may try to hold me down that you can’t hold me down. To march against the old beliefs that are still held today by some that women are better off to be silent, not heard, barefoot and pregnant and in the kitchen. Don’t believe me that this belief is still out there? I’ll introduce you to a cousin who is my age who feels that way.

“I control my body.”

And so do I (or maybe my body controls me! lol). That is one of the main reasons I marched to make sure that that control is not taken away from me, ever.

Let me put it in a way you may understand. Let’s talk a little bit about guns.

I always wondered why the NRA is against stricter gun laws. so I asked some of my pro-gun friends. An argument was made that we were on a slippery slope. The more laws made to make it more difficult to own a gun just means you are slowly stripping away the rights until it becomes an empty shell of the constitutional right to own guns.

I understand that. Let it be clear, I don’t like guns, I don’t want to own one. I appreciate though that this law is pretty much all inclusive and that if I changed my mind, I could go and buy one. I completely respect it is your right as it is mine. Though I wish guns were illegal, I won’t take your rights away.

I am asking for the same respect when it comes to my body and my reproductive choices. We are on a slippery slope where the more the government gets involved with stricter controls or lack of support for Roe V Wade, the closer we are to stripping away all the rights and control you and I have over our bodies. You can choose to do with your body whatever you want and if you don’t agree with what I might choose to do, don’t do it. But please don’t tell me what I can or cannot do with my own. And that’s what is in danger of happening.

And so I march for that right. I also march for the right to choose assisted-suicide in the face of serious illness/disease.   Something not on the main platform – but to have total control over what I do with my body and to choose how I die if I am able to.

“I can defend myself. I can defend my family. 
There is nothing stopping me to do anything in this world but MYSELF.”

And that is why I marched. To make sure that other women who do not feel the same as you and I know that they can rise up, they can fight whoever has held them down. They can fight whatever culture or tradition their families, their communities have taught them that said otherwise, that treats them or makes them feel less-than.

“I do not blame my circumstances or problems on anything other than my own choices or even that sometimes in life, we don’t always get what we want. I take responsibility for myself. 
I am a mother, a daughter, a wife, a sister, a friend. I am not held back in life but only by the walls I choose to not go over which is a personal choice. Quit blaming. Take responsibility. If you want to speak, do so.”

And that is why I marched, to take responsibility and to speak. To express my thoughts and fears that we could be in danger of losing some basic rights that we as HUMANS and women should have. We are on a slippery slope in the government where more restrictions on my right to choose what I can and can’t do with my own body becomes governed by the very government you say you don’t want in your lives. You don’t want the government to tell you what to do. Neither do I. So leave my reproductive rights to the person who knows best. Me.

“But do not expect for me, a woman, to take you seriously wearing a pink va-jay-jay hat on your head and screaming profanities and bashing men.”

This world needs a little more brevity and light heartedness while still trying to make a point. There is nothing wrong with that. But, I did not wear the hat so here I am. Take me seriously.

Also, if you were not at the march, don’t assume you know what happened. I was there to witness an unbelievable thing. Thousands upon thousands of women and MEN, young and old and in between – came together in peace. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would see such a thing. There was no bashing of men. There was full blown unity. There might have been a few chants against one man in particular, but turnabout is fair play. If those that hated the last president could make disparaging remarks about him, post insulting messages, and poke fun at him, then people have the right to do the same thing to this president. Let’s not be hypocritical.

If you are patriotic because you fought back against what you thought were socialist beliefs by the last president, then I can be just as patriotic because I am fighting back against what I believe to be tyrannical and divisive beliefs.

And let’s talk about profanity and bashing of people in general. Why is it that those that support Trump don’t want me screaming profanities and bashing people (which by the way, I have not done) when the very man himself has done the same thing?   Why is it ok for him to do it and not me? Why is it ok for one side to do it and not the other? Are these profanities and statements that “bash men” and/or Trump (again, for today’s march I barely heard) insulting your sensitivities? Isn’t that political correctness on your part – the very thing you say you like about Trump is that he is not politically correct. I’m confused. Which way is it to be? Politically correct or not? Respectful or not respectful? I’m not accusing, I truly am confused.

“If you have beliefs, and speak to me in a kind matter, I will listen. But do not expect for me to change my beliefs to suit yours. Respect goes both ways.”

I agree. Respect and a peaceful exchange go BOTH ways. Unfortunately, I have not seen this behavior by people on either side. Nor have I seen this by our very own elected leader. I have seen far too many rude & insulting posts, posters and signs by people who are my friends. When you post or say something with hatred, that is rude and insulting at the “other-side” you are not just getting back at or insulting some nameless, faceless person in the cloud. You are directing that towards your friends and family who may not share your political views. Essentially you have just attacked someone you may respect, like or love. Name calling and insults do nothing to help your side (whichever side that is). But don’t be blind to the fact that this is happening on BOTH sides of the argument. Don’t accuse someone else before looking at “yourself” first.

As I’ve mentioned I would like the insults and bashing of those that have opposing views to stop altogether. We will never get anywhere until we have an open dialogue and not one filled with hate and finger pointing.

“If you want to impress me, especially in regards to women, then speak on the real injustices and tragedies that affect women in foreign countries that do not have the opportunity or means to have their voices heard. Saudi Arabia, women can’t drive, no rights and must always be covered. 
China and India, infantcide of baby girls. 
Afghanistan, unequal education rights. 
Democratic Republic of Congo, where rapes are brutal and women are left to die, or HIV infected and left to care for children alone. 
Mali, where women can not escape the torture of genital mutilation. Pakistan, in tribal areas where women are gang raped to pay for men’s crime. Guatemala, the impoverished female underclass of Guatemala faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.
And that’s just a few examples.”

Yes! Now you get it! That is why I marched and that is why women around the WORLD marched. To bring women up out of those trenches. To be HEARD around the globe! To understand what is going on not just in our own country but all over the world. It was a movement that caught on not just because of the concerns that some of us have in the United States, but the concerns that women (and men) have in their own countries. We came together to voice those injustices. It was something spectacular. When was the last time you ever saw that kind of GLOBAL movement? Men and women peacefully voicing all issues around intolerance, injustice and hate, not just women’s issues.  If you can just take the opposing political arguments out of the equation for a minute and just sit back and look at the power of the people of all races coming together on the same day around the world to voice their issues – can’t you just see how incredible that is?

Also, please don’t presume to know what I have and have not done to support those injustices that you speak about. Because most of the time if I speak about that with people I often hear “how about helping out the poor, poverty-stricken people in our own country?”. So which way is it supposed to be? Who do I help? Our own people or people in other countries? I’m confused by the message. And therefore, I march to speak out against this in ALL countries and I support charities that support our down-trodden, as well as globally. And now, I’m inspired to do more than just support, but maybe even ACT to help those less fortunate than me and to ensure we never become like those third-world countries.

“So when women get together in AMERICA and whine they don’t have equal rights and march in their clean clothes, after eating a hearty breakfast, and it’s like a vacation away that they have paid for to get there…
This WOMAN does not support it.”

If you did not support it, then did you do all the research on these marches? Citizens came together for a purpose. Some of the less fortunate could not afford the bus fare and so donations were made to help support them. And trust me, with over 100,000 people in NYC not everyone was clean. I met people from all walks of life. Rich and poor, black and white and brown and yellow and all colors. Jews, Catholics, Muslim, Hindu a full repertoire of religions were there. And yes, I even met people who voted for Trump who were also marching in solidarity with those who did not vote for him and peaceful conversations were had. There was no hiding behind the computer saying we should all talk to each other but no one doing anything to actually invite a calm, peaceful, respectful conversation. Again, I cannot impress upon you how awesome this experience was.

And so I marched. I marched because, contrary to popular belief, I love this country. I marched because this country has always been great and I want to keep it that way. I marched because black lives matter, white lives, and all lives matter. I marched because blue lives matter. I marched because I support our veterans, and our wounded veterans making sure that they did not fight for our freedom in vain.

I marched for equal rights for ALL citizens even if I don’t like your kind or disagree with your points of view.

I marched because I could not stay silent anymore.